Monday, 30 March 2009
Annex
I have spoken to Jo today, she has been reading this blog. (Hello) She told me that whilst reading it she managed to spill her tea all over the floor, which was then eaten by the cat.
Carnage
Well blog fans, things got a bit heavy in the last one so I thought this time I would give you a more light-hearted version, my ‘alternative’ marathon training method.
On Friday I went out for a quiet pint with our fabulous team at Great Portland Street, where we were joined by my best mate Dan, who I have known for a mere 16 years.
So after about 6 pints in the Cider Bar, and a few vodkas we went to Langleys in Covent Garden, where Dan got the champagne in and we danced the night away. Now, there was no real need for the champagne, as I was already mortal but it did the job and finished me off. My memories are shady after that. There were 3 of us left, me, Dan and Louise, and somehow, I got left in there on my own. I don’t remember either of them leaving, but both claim to have left 1st.
So after about 10 minutes on my own I decided it was time to get my coat and leave, and I can remember having to ask someone how to get out of the place.
I managed to find my way to Covent Garden tube, which thankfully is on the Piccadilly Line (which I live on). I can remember the tube being busy, then I was waking up at Northfields, which is only 1 stop further than I was meant to go. Result, I knew the way to walk home from here.
So I stopped off in Mark’s Kebab’s for a 2 burgers and 2 chips for £2 deal, stumbled home, went into my room, lay down and went asleep. This was at about 1AM, having been out since 5.
I woke up at about 6.30, fully clothed, on top of the bed, the light was on and 2 lots of burger and chips uneaten on the floor.
I have not done that since I was a student.
So if you would like to join in some of this carnage, we will do it all again this Friday, at the Green Man (Cider Bar) on Riding House Street (Near Oxford Circus) from 5, and there will be a Race Night on too to raise money for the ol' marathon. All are welcome.
On Friday I went out for a quiet pint with our fabulous team at Great Portland Street, where we were joined by my best mate Dan, who I have known for a mere 16 years.
So after about 6 pints in the Cider Bar, and a few vodkas we went to Langleys in Covent Garden, where Dan got the champagne in and we danced the night away. Now, there was no real need for the champagne, as I was already mortal but it did the job and finished me off. My memories are shady after that. There were 3 of us left, me, Dan and Louise, and somehow, I got left in there on my own. I don’t remember either of them leaving, but both claim to have left 1st.
So after about 10 minutes on my own I decided it was time to get my coat and leave, and I can remember having to ask someone how to get out of the place.
I managed to find my way to Covent Garden tube, which thankfully is on the Piccadilly Line (which I live on). I can remember the tube being busy, then I was waking up at Northfields, which is only 1 stop further than I was meant to go. Result, I knew the way to walk home from here.
So I stopped off in Mark’s Kebab’s for a 2 burgers and 2 chips for £2 deal, stumbled home, went into my room, lay down and went asleep. This was at about 1AM, having been out since 5.
I woke up at about 6.30, fully clothed, on top of the bed, the light was on and 2 lots of burger and chips uneaten on the floor.
I have not done that since I was a student.
So if you would like to join in some of this carnage, we will do it all again this Friday, at the Green Man (Cider Bar) on Riding House Street (Near Oxford Circus) from 5, and there will be a Race Night on too to raise money for the ol' marathon. All are welcome.
Friday, 20 March 2009
What's it all about?
In 2002 I shaved my head for charity. I was in Australia on a working holiday at the time, and I had recently split from my ex-girlfriend, Jo A, who I went travelling with in the 1st place. I was feeling pretty low at that time, and I felt like I needed to do something to re-establish some semblance of self-esteem, so i wanted to do something 'good' to remind myself that I was a good person. I was also curious to see what my head would look like with no hair.
Although I am glad I did it, shaving my head did not have the desired effect on my confidence and self-esteem, in fact it had the opposite effect. I hated myself with no hair (I have an ugly head, all bumps and ridges) so I did myself no favours by doing it, even though I raised some good money for leukemia research.
If this was a conscious decision, I wonder if my motives for running the marathon can be paralleled with my reasons for the head shave in 2002?
My ex-girlfriend Jo A was the love of my life, my inspiration, I would never have gone travelling if it wasn't for her. But we split soon after we arrived in Oz and I was devastated, alone, and on the other side of the world. I had always thought back to this moment as the low point in my life, but for some months now I have started to feel similar or worse, sometimes I feel like I have no meaning, direction or structure to my life.
Of course I have recently been through another break up, with my ex, (also called Jo) and this time it feels much harder because it was my decision to leave. Jo C was my lover and companion of 5 years, we had been through huge changes on our lives together, supporting each other throughout. We went on adventures. Guilt plays a big part. Did I make the right decision? I do wish now that I had taken more time. I feel like the things that define me as a person are being stripped away one by one. I was a Greenpeace activist, but I have not been able to get that going in London, I had a VW camper, which has now been sold, I was a home owner and I made life choices that were important to the way I want to live, like buying local food, supporting local businesses, networking with other local activists. Most importantly I was Jo's boyfriend, I was half-her/half-me and now that whole sense of identity has been lost.
This week I have been able to unpack my stuff for the 1st time since November, when I moved in with my brother. In one sense this is great because my life now has some structure and order, at least I know where my stuff is, but it also has a sense of finality to it, drawing a line under the old life and starting a new one.
If its been hard for me its been hell for, Jo, stuck in our house in Huddersfield and trying to come to terms with it all. I am sorry Jo. We have spoken a few times but I don't think it has helped make any sense of it all. It must be easy for Jo to think I have been living it up in London but its not been like that.
But Jo, if you ever doubted that I loved, or the way I felt about you,
Remember me singing to you while we sat smoking in the gutter in Notting Hill,
Remember me brushing your teeth for you when you couldn't do it for yourself
Remember me giving you my shoes when yours were hurting your feet
Remember me designing a menu for you and cooking a meal on your birthday
Remember Friday nights in the Dusty Miller
Remember cleaning the carpets drunk at midnight
Remember the holidays, the camping, the vans, Wimbledon, Ireland, Barcelona,
Remember the Faithless gig where I got my willy out to cheer you up.
You wont know this but whenever I made a wish, blowing out candles or snapping the wishbone, it was always the same wish: For Jo to be happy.
So now I wonder if running 26.2 miles can solve all of that? How can it? It might help to repair some of my self esteem but it can't mend my heart. And its going to take a lot of heart to finish it. This marathon is all about me, its my challenge and no-one else's, and I can't wait to take it on.
Then what will I do?
Although I am glad I did it, shaving my head did not have the desired effect on my confidence and self-esteem, in fact it had the opposite effect. I hated myself with no hair (I have an ugly head, all bumps and ridges) so I did myself no favours by doing it, even though I raised some good money for leukemia research.
If this was a conscious decision, I wonder if my motives for running the marathon can be paralleled with my reasons for the head shave in 2002?
My ex-girlfriend Jo A was the love of my life, my inspiration, I would never have gone travelling if it wasn't for her. But we split soon after we arrived in Oz and I was devastated, alone, and on the other side of the world. I had always thought back to this moment as the low point in my life, but for some months now I have started to feel similar or worse, sometimes I feel like I have no meaning, direction or structure to my life.
Of course I have recently been through another break up, with my ex, (also called Jo) and this time it feels much harder because it was my decision to leave. Jo C was my lover and companion of 5 years, we had been through huge changes on our lives together, supporting each other throughout. We went on adventures. Guilt plays a big part. Did I make the right decision? I do wish now that I had taken more time. I feel like the things that define me as a person are being stripped away one by one. I was a Greenpeace activist, but I have not been able to get that going in London, I had a VW camper, which has now been sold, I was a home owner and I made life choices that were important to the way I want to live, like buying local food, supporting local businesses, networking with other local activists. Most importantly I was Jo's boyfriend, I was half-her/half-me and now that whole sense of identity has been lost.
This week I have been able to unpack my stuff for the 1st time since November, when I moved in with my brother. In one sense this is great because my life now has some structure and order, at least I know where my stuff is, but it also has a sense of finality to it, drawing a line under the old life and starting a new one.
If its been hard for me its been hell for, Jo, stuck in our house in Huddersfield and trying to come to terms with it all. I am sorry Jo. We have spoken a few times but I don't think it has helped make any sense of it all. It must be easy for Jo to think I have been living it up in London but its not been like that.
But Jo, if you ever doubted that I loved, or the way I felt about you,
Remember me singing to you while we sat smoking in the gutter in Notting Hill,
Remember me brushing your teeth for you when you couldn't do it for yourself
Remember me giving you my shoes when yours were hurting your feet
Remember me designing a menu for you and cooking a meal on your birthday
Remember Friday nights in the Dusty Miller
Remember cleaning the carpets drunk at midnight
Remember the holidays, the camping, the vans, Wimbledon, Ireland, Barcelona,
Remember the Faithless gig where I got my willy out to cheer you up.
You wont know this but whenever I made a wish, blowing out candles or snapping the wishbone, it was always the same wish: For Jo to be happy.
So now I wonder if running 26.2 miles can solve all of that? How can it? It might help to repair some of my self esteem but it can't mend my heart. And its going to take a lot of heart to finish it. This marathon is all about me, its my challenge and no-one else's, and I can't wait to take it on.
Then what will I do?
Sunday, 15 March 2009
Running, Fundraising, sorting your life out
Good Morning Sports Fans,
If you are a follower of this blog I feel I must apologise for the rather sporadic nature of these blogs, its purely down to time.
Its quite hard for me at the moment to juggle training, fundraising, a busy time at work and decorating Rob and Erin's house (what where I live). Rest is important too, and if I am honest this is my favorite of all these things!
Firstly, let me tell you how training is going, I ran 16 miles last week in 2 and a half hours, it was hilly too so not bad. I am about to go for an 18 mile run after I have finished this...
Secondly, fundraising is going well too, I have now raised over £1100, I had a big jump last Friday from the Race Night organised by myself and my friend and colleague the Fabulous Krysia Longmore, which brought in over £320, so thanks to everyone that came and thanks to Krysia for being a star and for helping to make the night a success. Race Night part 2 is due to be in London on the 3rd April...
Thirdly, house decorating is going well too, Rob and Erin have been doing up their spare room so that I can rent it from them, its nearly done now, we laid the floor yesterday and it looks ace.
Right, I had better go for that run,
Bye!
If you are a follower of this blog I feel I must apologise for the rather sporadic nature of these blogs, its purely down to time.
Its quite hard for me at the moment to juggle training, fundraising, a busy time at work and decorating Rob and Erin's house (what where I live). Rest is important too, and if I am honest this is my favorite of all these things!
Firstly, let me tell you how training is going, I ran 16 miles last week in 2 and a half hours, it was hilly too so not bad. I am about to go for an 18 mile run after I have finished this...
Secondly, fundraising is going well too, I have now raised over £1100, I had a big jump last Friday from the Race Night organised by myself and my friend and colleague the Fabulous Krysia Longmore, which brought in over £320, so thanks to everyone that came and thanks to Krysia for being a star and for helping to make the night a success. Race Night part 2 is due to be in London on the 3rd April...
Thirdly, house decorating is going well too, Rob and Erin have been doing up their spare room so that I can rent it from them, its nearly done now, we laid the floor yesterday and it looks ace.
Right, I had better go for that run,
Bye!
Thursday, 5 March 2009
I am Wolverine
One of the amazing things that I have found about marathon training is the way that my body responds to trauma.
For example, the other week I was in Bristol with my mates, had a skin-full on the Friday night, then ran 12 miles on the Saturday morning, and felt great. My powers of recovery (just like Wolverine) are amazing at the moment. It does take it out of you, the week after the Bristol run I did 20 miles in a weekend, (6 Saturday, 14 Sunday) and it is tiring, but the human body's ability to recover is fantastic.
I guess this has parallels to my own life, they say time is a great healer and I think that slowly but surely my life is getting back on track too. Having been living in London for 3 months now, and living with my fabulous brother out of a suitcase, we are now starting to redecorate, which will give me some proper space which is important to me. I do miss having a place of my own, but that is now a pipe dream for me. Jo and I are on speaking terms again, which is encouraging, she is off to Ecuador for the summer and I wish her well.
Running is also great thinking time and I think this helps me to come to terms with all this.
16 miles this weekend, I wonder if I will be able to recover again?
For example, the other week I was in Bristol with my mates, had a skin-full on the Friday night, then ran 12 miles on the Saturday morning, and felt great. My powers of recovery (just like Wolverine) are amazing at the moment. It does take it out of you, the week after the Bristol run I did 20 miles in a weekend, (6 Saturday, 14 Sunday) and it is tiring, but the human body's ability to recover is fantastic.
I guess this has parallels to my own life, they say time is a great healer and I think that slowly but surely my life is getting back on track too. Having been living in London for 3 months now, and living with my fabulous brother out of a suitcase, we are now starting to redecorate, which will give me some proper space which is important to me. I do miss having a place of my own, but that is now a pipe dream for me. Jo and I are on speaking terms again, which is encouraging, she is off to Ecuador for the summer and I wish her well.
Running is also great thinking time and I think this helps me to come to terms with all this.
16 miles this weekend, I wonder if I will be able to recover again?
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